Gob Smacked and Pissed Off
Saturday, September 19, 2009 at 3:28PM OK...this is the real Dana, the evil twin of the nice serene Dana. To say that I am pissed off is an understatement. First of all, the doctor I saw was not as advertised by my primary care doctor. He is not a he
OK...this is the real Dana, the evil twin of the nice serene Dana. To say that I am pissed off is an understatement. First of all, the doctor I saw was not as advertised by my primary care doctor. He is not a hematologist. Well he is, but he's also an oncologist in a cancer hospital. My doctor told me none of this. The place he works isn't near here so all I had was an address. When the GPS pulled us into the parking lot of this big building that said Cancer Center I said to husband "Goddamit, now were at the wrong place and by the time we find the right place we'll be late!" We were on time.
Once I got over the shock of being where I didn't expect to be, I became subdued and wary. The doctor is lovely, Harvard educated, Dana Farber and Mass General trained. He's young and exudes intelligence and competence. He spoke to me as if I had a brain in my head. Here's the bottom line at this point to the best of my understanding. My white blood count is below 400, critically low. It can be two ways...one, since I haven't had blood work in over a year, something is going on (something not good cancerwise) in my body and destroying my white cells. He's thinking of a bone marrow biopsy, but is holding off for now because the IVIG muddies the waters. Number two guess is that when I got the five IVIG infusions I got someones antibodies that are rapidly destroying my white blood cells. Maybe my body can fight them off. Maybe not. This whole IVIG thing is a big crap shoot. I am putting other people's antibodies into me and hoping they will fight on the side of good rather than evil. In this case, I might have gotten some renegades that are bent on destroying my white blood cells. It really pisses me off.
So we go back to the whole infection thing. If I get a fever of 100.5 or if I feel unwell, I am to go to ER immediately. I can't fight off infection and any infection can rage through. Good part is IV antibiotics can kick it if I don't dilly dally around. This is really annoying.
I had tons of blood taken...my poor veins! I see him in a week unless he calls me sooner. I am not wishing to hear from him sooner...that's not a good sign. It's always better when you call a doctor than when they call you...take my word on that one.
matologist. Well he is, but he's also an oncologist in a cancer hospital. My doctor told me none of this. The place he works isn't near here so all I had was an address. When the GPS pulled us into the parking lot of this big building that said Cancer Center I said to husband "Goddamit, now were at the wrong place and by the time we find the right place we'll be late!" We were on time.
Reader Comments (3)
keep seeing red it may help. At least if you are pissed off you have fight in your veins which it sounds as though you badly need. all the best dana and know its very hard but think positive. theres a lot of plans made and to be hatched so keep thinking of them. any more foods you fancy, whatever get them and enjoy them. dont forget the garden, reckon they are due some more patrols and pics too. thinking of you and hopefully sending the right vibes your direction.
I don't have to give you a lecture on positive thinking - you gave me and also my husband, John, plenty of them and I appreciated every one!
"It seems easier to lie prone than to press against the law of gravity and raise the body onto its feet and persist in remaining vertical. There are many incidents which can eviscerate the stalwart and bring the mighty down." (Maya Angelou)
Dana, your body has always given you a run for your money but you have always defied the laws and remained standing! Remember: you are phenomenal ... you are woman ... you are loved!
We are thinking of you
Hope it all goes away soon
Take care