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First Things First...

About the Pigs...they're back and they've evidently kept warm all winter by making babies.  Yes, we are very concerned that the pigs will tear up our newly sodded lawn. To this end and to the tune of almost six hundred dollars, two weeks ago an electrician (a lovely Mr. Turner) came to our house. He built a PVC post into the ground on each corner of the lanai. Then he did some wiring and then mounted two big motion activated spotlights on each post. The idea being that the piggles will be scared off by the lights. Well, perhaps.

The first night, John went to bed around ten o'clock. I shut the great room lights off and sat in the dark watching television. At ten thirty-five PM the backyard lit up like Alcatraz during a midnight prison break. I slipped out to the lanai very, very quietly and hid behind the big potted white Bougainvillea.  The dogs were afraid to come out  onto the lanai in the dark.  There were five big piggles and three baby piggles at the very edge of where the lawn meets the big brush of the conservation area. The piggles were standing still and were staring at the lights. I did the Caesar Milan Dog Whisperer Psssssstttttt thing really loudly and shouted, "Bad piggles, bad piggles get back into those woods!" It was so funny because they looked at me and then literally turned and jumped back into the brush with a bunch of crashing noise through the bushes and saplings Then I could hear grunting and one loud squeal. The lights timed off and I went back to the sofa. Five minutes later the lights blazed on and there they were again. I did a repeat performance and so did the piggles. I tried to wake John up to see the show, but he was snoring. This went on two more times with longer intervals between each show. Finally at about eleven o'clock, all was quiet and no more lights came on.

The second night, the lights went off twice, but it was Martha's cat who looked at me with utter contempt for the intrusion into his hunting and just stared me down until the lights went off each time. I didn't yell at him. He was too intimidating.  Now, the lights go off at night, but it's never the pigs. We see the piggles are at the lake every morning but they stay on their bank. They've dug up the bank over there. I've snooped and there's a lot of pig poop over there. Yesterday ,as we were driving out about ten AM, (we live on a cul de sac) there was a mother and four piglets standing at the side of the street at the stop sign. We didn't see a real lot of the pigs all winter. Someone told me that's because they had the acorns from Fall to eat then and now they are having to forage farther. Our neighborhood is called Oakleaf Hammock and there are thousands of Oak trees here (we have six in our yard and there are 200 homes here) so maybe that hypothesis is correct.

I'm very conflicted about the piggles. I love them. They were here first. They are parents raising children in the wild. I know how difficult it is to be a parent raising wildlife. I am opposed to killing them...totally opposed. That being said, We've spent a lot of money on the lawn. We've spent money on the lights. I would like to live in harmony with the piggles, a mutual respect kind of thing. We shall see...

PS: it's 4:10PM. I just glanced out back...4 big piggles, 1 piglet. I haven't a clue who's pigglesitting the other babies.

Second Things Second:

Everyone here at Chez Dana is driving me crazy. All three of them are very needy and clingy. Just for perspective, here is a photo of a corner of our master bath where the shower and Jacuzzi tub are located...

And here is a photo of what goes on every single morning while I shower...

The Klingons come in as soon as they hear the shower start and jump up on the tub to watch, like it's some kind of magic show behind the glass doors. This morning Rico decided to nab one of the new towels off that high towel bar. I had shampoo in my hair and started screaming for John to "Get the goddamn dogs out of here!" He ran in screaming "What's wrong? What's wrong? Are you ok?" Then he dashed out minus any dogs, dashed back in with the camera yelling, "Taffy! Rico! Look at Daddy!" as he snapped away. I cursed some more, he removed the dogs, I rinsed. These three need to get a life and detach from me.  I can't take much more and might hie myself to a nunnery some time soon.  They will all truly be lost if left on their own.  Welcome to my world.

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