A Week of the Sick...and Then Some

Last Saturday we drove to Orlando to spend the weekend with all of our grandchildren. My daughter's boys slept over at my son's house all weekend and we had a great time. We drove home Sunday evening. I awoke at 3 AM feeling as if I had swallowed razor blades. Then came the chills with chattering teeth Monday. I changed into my fleece sock monkey pajamas and the diabetic thick socks I purloined from my father's laundry. I stayed in bed covered with my down filled duvet, the down filled duvet from the king bed spare room, a down blanket, a fleece robe and the dogs' fleece blankie. I now had a headache that felt like a vise around my temples. I was sneezing a lot. I took two Nyquil capsules and passed out. This was about 10AM. I awoke in the dark feeling as if I were on fire and someone had thrown water all over me. My clothes were wet and three dogs were laying on me, one on my chest, two on my legs and they were all panting at me. I tried to sit up and could not. I began cursing and screaming and thrashing my legs trying to dislodge the dogs who just dug in deeper like three fur ball rock climbers clinging to the face of Mount Blanc. I was burning up! Finally little Poncho lost his grip, I kicked one leg out of the covers and dislodged the other two and started trying to rid myself of all the layers of covers weighing me down. I started stripping. My skin was cold and clammy. My stomach began heaving and I spotted the big white plastic vomit bowl on the night table . Wearing nothing at this point but my father's socks I began retching. This went on for a while. John showed up saying he heard me and informed me it was 5AM the following day. He helped me shower, don new pajamas, srtip the sweaty sheets and put on fresh ones and try to feed me some oatmeal. I could not swallow and just spewed the oatmeal all over the table. I made John get rid of all the extra covers I was so damn hot. I took more Nyquil as well as Delsym for the cough. No food or drink = no vomit. The same cannot be said for the new symptom to appear diarrheah.

I stayed firmly in bed except for another shower on Weds. and one on Friday. By Saturday morning I had lost 7 lbs. as all I ever could sip down was water. I did not eat until yesterday (Saturday) at two o'clock when I demanded that John go to Applebee's and bring back a Bourbon Black and Bleu Burger with a side of onion rings. I ate half the burger and half the rings.  I accomplished this by taking teeny bites,chewing very thoroughly and washing it down with warm sweet tea. It was manna from heaven even if John did declare me crazy.  I was feeling a lot better. I double dosed on Delsym, took 3 Nyquil capsules and went back to bed at 5PM to watch television. The next thing I knew it was 7:30 this morning, the sun was shining, the birds were singing and I felt terrific. I was cured! I found the dogs in bed with John, plastered all over him. I joyously shook him to tell him that his very own personal Lazarus (Moi) had arisen and I was well and whole again. He snarled and said, "Go away! I'm sick. I started coughing, sore throat, headache. It's your fault." I offered him my left over burger and onion rings which he rudely refused. I made him tea instead. He never drank it. He's been in bed all day. He's even missing watching Tiger winning at Sawgrass.

---

Now that I'm pretty sure I'm going to live, I want to grow up to be this woman.  Make sure you watch until the very end.