Never Get Mad...Get Even
Tuesday, June 8, 2010 at 3:53PM Husband and I are spending way too much time together. Basically, we've been together 24/7/365 since 2000. That much time together really should be declared illegal. The other day we had a major tiff at our local SuperTarget store. What started said tiff you might very well wonder. Nothing! If you've ever been to Target, I am sure that you are keenly aware that right at the front of the store there are dollar bins. These bins are an ever changing treasure trove of items no one really needs, but are such good bargains that no normal human can resist. Normal is the operative word here, please note.
We entered Target the way we always do, husband forging ahead of me as if his tighty whities were on fire. He grabbed a shopping cart and headed off as if the store loudspeaker had announced "Gentlemen, start your engines." As I began to lope behind trying to keep pace, those dollar bins caught my eye. There before me was a bucket brimming with dog collars. One dollar each for fabulous collars. They were gorgeous fabric collars in every color and print. I quickly scooped up a lime green with pink polka dots collar, a light blue one with yellow flowers, a black model with little white skull and crossbones all over. a pink and green camouflage beauty and was in the process of scooping up a red and black and tan Burberry knock-off when with a whoosh Husband appeared banging that damn cart ahead of him. "What are you doing?", he screamed. "You said we were here for coffee pods!" "I turned to say something to you and you were gone!" "I thought you had passed out somewhere!" "What have you got there?" "Oh for God's sake put those bloody collars back!" "The dog's have collars." As he was spewing all of these invectives, all I could see playing in Technicolor in my mind was this...
I started to jump into the fray about how I could buy the Girlz whatever I wanted to, but I just didn't have the energy. I could have brought up how I acquiesced when he threw a fit because I wanted to buy Rico a dog dress for Easter. I thought it would entertain the grandkids. And yes, I know Rico is sort of a boy, but he's much more feminine looking than Taffy who is technically a girl, but bigger, in fact, getting a bit pudgy even and much more boyish than tiny Rico. I didn't bring any of that up. I just muttered that the Girlz would really hate him when they found out that he didn't care if they looked pretty or not and I sauntered off to the bathing suit section. And, you know the old saw about never get mad get even? Well, I have found a way. Below are photos of the newest rage among dog owners in China. I'm ready to embrace the craze. What do you think?
Reader Comments (11)
Soooooooo funny!! We always find a way to get back at them, don't we? By the way, that third picture from the end..... looks just like our girl only she's black. She wore her pink and black life jacket today at the lake..........
Also, you two have had WAY too much togetherness lately.
Some people are crazy dog people and some people are their friends.
Those are TOO funny! I can just imagine said husband's reaction, too!
Would consider doing it without a precipatory argument, except I doubt whether it is at all good for the dogs. Hope you are both surviving these hot da ys. Claudia
This is even funnier for me because I can "hear" you both in m head.... Men just do not understand the fine art of bargain hunting, nor shopping for that matter. LMAO at the China craze.. I like the Tiger one. Love ya! ~M
That's why dogs are "Good People" as they say in da south. You can do anything silly with em, go off into the world, be a complete fool, make serious mistakes, embarrass yourself and family for four generations in both directions... and when you come home...They are glad to see you. They will listen as you tell them all your secrets, admit all your frailties and foibles, vent all your frustrations...and lick your face-wag their tail- and let you know that "It's OK. Tomorrow's another day and tonight we're together"... Traits that few humans possess even on our most holy and righteous days
I'm looking for the word for husband extermination, know there is patricide, fratricide etc but cant gather the one I want to mind. Have thought spousicide, which I though was good had a sort of insecticide kind of sound to it. I swear if mine shouts at me over the checkouts again as he did to day then the first can I can get my hand on will meet with his head. Probably a good thing he was pushing the trolley. Tell you something trolleyrage will be my next thing, grab a spare one and run it at him. lol Jill
I caught a show on TLC called Extreme Poodle Grooming... and I really feel like I missed my calling. Unfortunaltely my cat will not sit still for all that grooming.
Dana dont you dare do that to poor Rico
I just might have to come out there to save him
Just back from France and found your new blog
I had always wanted to learn about this topic ... I think it's great the way you expose .. great work and continuing on with this great blog rfjcde rfjcde - Justin Bieber Shoes.
Just read this post. My husband Mike goes into a store, zeros in on what he has set out to buy, and whizzes out. Makes me fume.
I want to make Rooney a tiger.